Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Butterfly Needles + Snow.

I spent the other night in the hospital. I spiked a very nasty fever and no matter how much insulin I pumped into my system I couldn't get my blood sugars below 10 mmol/L. The only time this ever happens is when I have some sort of infection in my lungs. They'd been burning when I breath, but I didn't have the cough that usually goes along with an infection. I hate ER's. I hate the waiting. I hate the emotionally sterile environment. I hate the bad television in the waiting rooms. I hate the sitting for hours feeling like shit.

The nurse used a butterfly needle to draw the blood from my arm. I'd never had one used before. It was fine, until she took it out and my arm wouldn't stop bleeding. "Just press on it," she said. I was and it was bleeding through my fingers and down my arm. "Press on it and lift it up in the air," she modified. I did and it... eventually stopped.

They didn't figure where the fever came from and didn't have much to say about my uncooperative blood sugars. I left the hospital around 4:30 am. The streetcar down College was slow in coming and I couldn't find a cab. It was cold out; when I had left the house early I was so warm I didn't bother to wear a sweater or a winter coat. I couldn't stand waiting for the streetcar and eventually started walking in the direction of my house. I pased by the 7/11 and there was a young guy working behind the counter- I guess this hour is normal for him.

It started to snow and I thought of the time when I was working as a nanny and one of the kids caught her first glimps of snow. She was so excited. "If it's snowing in the backyard, I wonder if it is snowing in the frontyard too," I said. We ran to the front to see. Sure enough it was and before I could turn around to go back to the kitcen she had her rainboots on and was sloshing around in the backyard. It was like magic. I missed that moment. I miss feeling well to the point that I could just carelessly hang out with friends and enjoy the snow.


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