tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44476164666094077242024-03-19T00:02:05.692-04:00Natural Born CyborgVirtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-56498178533599955282012-09-24T23:52:00.002-04:002012-09-24T23:52:38.789-04:00Diabetes Art Day 2012...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6rg0AoT2KjQFVgD_3ptchYd7APzeY65YoHD0W28heljN0K9bn-wE7yHzRbCMOxIZjHDEJ2qk8hYdzC5FCsqLbo1wGh4IVl6jUktWAo8Dz32cXv8c6jWj9cxi2GkROVz5DeuGjMvhEgqGi/s1600/Portions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6rg0AoT2KjQFVgD_3ptchYd7APzeY65YoHD0W28heljN0K9bn-wE7yHzRbCMOxIZjHDEJ2qk8hYdzC5FCsqLbo1wGh4IVl6jUktWAo8Dz32cXv8c6jWj9cxi2GkROVz5DeuGjMvhEgqGi/s320/Portions.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Portion</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ZfA-81Pvk0U4t7J64oxCAjIVDw5hCAhVJmTlZFZEhxbOuqAx0deOnXX-V4LlPeSa60oNdZ-SDUTXL1cDH_bhMXtFynIvyw8fyU6H7tAZvP6-kfAUwwvhUSCKPwIceZc4WPJ84XAQdsBw/s1600/Control.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ZfA-81Pvk0U4t7J64oxCAjIVDw5hCAhVJmTlZFZEhxbOuqAx0deOnXX-V4LlPeSa60oNdZ-SDUTXL1cDH_bhMXtFynIvyw8fyU6H7tAZvP6-kfAUwwvhUSCKPwIceZc4WPJ84XAQdsBw/s320/Control.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Control</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYQH2YVtDT1zmbd3WXYXo7Z0KqDHHE2KPiuMj8xfYCZASTVLx1f6B-CGk53LDlNQCvHmItGLhlEfH_8nhW440xiSFi8hch_iOHamNv2Sepn75Hsm3dNCtHciRZTY27UTPs9UR9gkjMhony/s1600/NotReally.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYQH2YVtDT1zmbd3WXYXo7Z0KqDHHE2KPiuMj8xfYCZASTVLx1f6B-CGk53LDlNQCvHmItGLhlEfH_8nhW440xiSFi8hch_iOHamNv2Sepn75Hsm3dNCtHciRZTY27UTPs9UR9gkjMhony/s320/NotReally.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'You are special'... Not Really. </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
To see this year's other entries to Diabetes Art Day for 2012<span style="color: black;"> <a href="http://www.diabetesartday.com/2012-gallery/" target="_blank">click here</a><span style="color: black;">.</span></span></div>
Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-7661699209251555722012-09-04T21:38:00.000-04:002012-09-04T21:38:24.297-04:00Questions from a six year-old... Continued...<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Hello Everyone,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">For those of you that posted responses to the questions from the little girl that just started on an insulin pump, I just wanted you to know that I corralled all the responses, put them in a PDF, and sent them off to said six year-old. Since other people were so generous as to post their answers, I thought it only fair to post mine. Here they are:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>1. Has your pump ever fallen off/out while running/jumping /playing sports etc? What did you do?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>It's not happened to me... Running it usually stays on okay, but during sports it tends to pull my pants down (eek!)... so I wear it in a Spibelt (<a href="http://www.spibelt.com/spibelt.php">http://www.spibelt.com/spibelt.php</a> or <a href="http://www.diabetesexpress.ca/spibelt-m-3.html">http://www.diabetesexpress.ca/spibelt-m-3.html</a>) around my waist.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>2. Do people still ask about it/want to touch it/want to know what’s wrong with you, even when you’re a grown up?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Yes, always and forever. I tend to wear my sites on my arms, 'cause they are most comfortable for me there. So, I maybe get more attention than I would otherwise. Sometimes people are kind of weird about it, but mostly people are just curious. I don't mind of people are just curious.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>3. Do you have lots of marks (I think she means scars…she’s starting to get a few), by the time that you’re old?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>I find some sites leave scars and others don't seem to leave any marks. The angled infusion sets left scar marks on my skin. The 90 degree sites have not. I use the metal sites now, because I have an allergy to the soft plastic ones. The metal one's are more like a needle. They don't seem to be leaving any marks so far. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>4. Do adults ever forget their diabetes bag (one with blood sugar testing/emergency snacks etc)? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Absolutely. Those things are so everyday for people dealing with diabetes... it's kind of like forgetting to brush your teeth when you're in a hurry... And, actually, I've forgotten to put my pump back on twice in the past five years that I've been wearing it. I realized pretty quickly. It was more a pain than anything, because I had to go back home to get it. My biggest worry is not having food/glucose on hand if I go low. So, I have little key chain fobs with glucose tabs on my bags and one on my glucometer, so it makes it harder to not have some low supplies around in case I need them. They look like this:</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://docnews.diabetesjournals.org/content/2/12/14/F1.medium.gif"><img border="0" src="http://docnews.diabetesjournals.org/content/2/12/14/F1.medium.gif" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>I also keep a bit of money in my glucometer case, just in case I forget my wallet and need more food than I have to treat a low.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>5. Have you travelled lots and lots? Any problems? (She’s a big world traveller)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>I don't travel a super amount. The bit that I have has all been good. I just make sure I have extra supplies, both in my luggage and any carry-on (if I am going on a plane.) I find going through security can be a bit intimidating with the pump. I've had some issues (because I’m silly and forget to take the clip off... so I end up setting off the metal detectors), but everyone else I know has had no problems.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>6. How old were you when you could do it all yourself (testing, operating pump etc.)?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>I've always done everything myself, because I was diagnosed at 15 years old. I've met some kids five years old who did everything themselves, but a lot of people take a bit longer to start doing it themselves. A lot of my friends with diabetes didn't start doing everything (or at least most things) themselves until they were around ten. It can be a lot to do on your own, but sometimes people start small... like they start testing their blood themselves and work with their parents to figure out how much insulin to give.</i></span></div>
Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-50049539057814841422012-08-28T12:28:00.000-04:002012-08-28T12:28:27.266-04:00Questions from a six year old...<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I received an email from a friend that is a nanny. The little girl she looks after was diagnosed with type one in the past year and just went on an insulin pump. Seeing that I too wear a pump my friend the nanny asked if she could forward me some questions. Feel free to chime in:</span></div>
<ol>
<li style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Has your pump ever fallen off/out while running/jumping /playing sports etc? What did you do? </span></li>
<li style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do people still ask about it/want to touch it/want to know what’s wrong with you, even when you’re a grown up?</span></li>
<li style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do you have lots of marks (I think she means scars…she’s starting to get a few), by the time that you’re old?</span></li>
<li style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do adults ever forget their diabetes bag (one with blood sugar testing/emergency snacks etc)?</span></li>
<li style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Have you travelled lots and lots? Any problems? (she’s a big world traveller)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: black; font-size: small;">How old were you when you could do it all yourself (testing, operating pump etc.)?</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"></span></span></span></li>
</ol>
<br />Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-44096887701290582722012-06-26T17:13:00.001-04:002012-06-26T18:17:00.611-04:00Hanging out with insulin pumper extraordinaire, Dr. John Walsh...<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">(And by 'hanging out with' I mean 'in the audience of a presentation by'.)</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So, yay! John Walsh was in Toronto last week doing a few presentations. I packed my bags and travelled for a whole hour out to a convention centre around Pearson Airport for his last session... at 9am on a Saturday morning. Despite the early rise, however, the room was pretty packed and I had trouble finding a spot to sit.</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The early presentation began in pretty much the same fashion that every person with diabetes starts their day: numbers. The first topic for discussion was the Actual Pump Practices study, whereby the data of 396 pumps with meter results input were analyzed. The data was divided into three categories depending on the average blood meter glucose results: </span></div>
<ul style="color: black;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Low Third- 144 mg/dl (8.0 mmol/L), </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Mid Third - 181 mg/dl (10.0 mmol/L),</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">High Third- 227 mg/dl (12.5 mmol/L.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The results were kind of interesting (even without caffeine), because in terms of behaviour all three groups were similar. 92.7% used the bolus calculator to cover meals and 96.5% were using the calculator to correct high readings. People in the lowest blood glucose group were testing their blood an average of 4.73 times per day; while, similarly, those in the high group were testing 4.01. The only noteworthy differences between the lowest and highest groups were that the latter tended to be using greater amounts of insulin, and infusion set failures/occlusion errors appeared to significantly raise blood glucose averages. From this there was a conclusion that high blood glucose results were not necessarily a matter of people not trying to manage, but rather those people needing more insulin, or losing insulin from set malfunctions.</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The next topic my new BFF Dr. John Walsh discussed was how to go about fine tuning your pump settings in order to gain the best control you can of your diabetes. On paper, this looks like:</span></div>
<ol style="color: black;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Stop lows first</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Find an iTDD (improved total daily dose- using chart from the new Pumping Insulin)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Set and test basals</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Set and test Carb Factors</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Lower post-meal blood glucose</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Set and test Correction Factors</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">However, in real life my new BFF Dr. Walsh likened all the data needed to analyze and manage diabetes to a Jackson Pollack painting. It was funny...</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The rest of the presentation was essentially about steps 1-6... But here are the points that struck me the most:</span></div>
<ul style="color: black;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">small carb factor changes make a big difference- ex., a person 73kg (160 lbs) has a TDD of 40 U (<--- I don't actually know what weight has to do with anything, but I wrote it down, so I feel like it was important somewhere?) Said person changes from 1U per 10g CHO to 1U per 9g CHO. On avergage people from the APP study ate 190 grams of carbohydrate a day. Assuming this average, changing that carb factor puts another <strike>21 units</strike> 2 units (forgot subtraction!) on the person's TDD.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">try not to eat if your blood glucose is over 8 mmol/L (144 mg/dl)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">half of the protein you eat turns into carbohydrates </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">some fats seem to provoke insulin resistance (I heard something about cheeses and then I tuned out, because I can't eat dairy. Sorry)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">setting the duration of insulin action on your pump is important, because setting too short a time is a recipe for later lows </span></li>
</ul>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">And this one made the whole room gasp: A woman asked how she could avoid so many bad infusion sites. New BFF Dr. Walsh asked if she used a set with an auto-inserter. She said yes. He said <i>stop using those</i>... because they way that they are cocked means that they are difficult to get to go in straight and without kinking. (And from my experience those suckers tend to bleed into the canula more times than not.)</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">With respect to infusion sites, there were also these recommendations:</span></div>
<ul style="color: black;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Sure-T/Contact Detach, Sof-Set, and Silhouette are more reliable infusion sets</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">always anchor the line with 1 inch tape to reduce irritation and tugging that can cause insulin small leaks at the site</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">suggested tapes were: durapore, transpore, hypafix</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">when you have a site failure and your blood glucose shoots up (to the sky) don't forget that you were not getting basal along with whatever you carbs you might have bolused for... you, therefore, will likely need more insulin to get your blood glucose down to target.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So, that was that. In a nutshell (<--- no carbs!) My favourite part was during break when a woman went up to ask about her up-and-down blood glucose readings that she'd been trying to get under control with the help of her CDE. He asked her a few questions and then asked if he could look at her pump settings. Occassionally he would look up and say, "Do you have x, y, z happen?" and she would respond, "Yes, that's exactly what happens." And he'd change a setting and explain. I like to think her blood glucose is a constant 5.5 mmol/L now and forever. She should probably never wash her pump again.</span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">They gave away a few copies of the new 5th edition of Pumping Insulin at the end of the morning. I didn't get one. I kind of imagined that after the draw someone would stand up and pull an Oprah, yelling for everyone to look under their chair to find a copy of the book... "AND YOU GET A BOOK! AND YOU GET A BOOK! AND YOU GET A BOOK!" And we'd all lose our shit, just like on the show... But that didn't happen either. </span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">In the end, though, I was just really happy I got to hear from what could maybe be define as the rock star of pumping insulin (too much?) He was pretty engaging and generous with his knowledge. Even during break he didn't stop to get anything to eat or drink, but instead made sure he got to everyone's questions. I hadn't realized that he also has diabetes and has been on what seems like every pump imaginable over the years. Because of that he would make the occassional reference to diabetese, like the Pollack-type BG graph joke or talking about type 3's (aka 5.5ers or support people without diabetes.) So, despite the early start time and the rather obscure location and the no free book under my chair issue, I found it was really good times and learning.</span></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-21134849914047528812012-02-20T14:19:00.004-05:002012-02-20T14:19:39.571-05:00It's been a while...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7Uq7j4ojhpvyseyWRlGvjy2duqYzvV1GjriJq6ydkd2pGjcVSgQIjyHbwHWea-V_ifWnZcopk708vHikzJNU9O3_aN6-PKQgkTskzSlvKi4ofgWFzMeRgDsw6FEHRp999vxtcAy8p_tv/s1600/September+30-2011+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv7Uq7j4ojhpvyseyWRlGvjy2duqYzvV1GjriJq6ydkd2pGjcVSgQIjyHbwHWea-V_ifWnZcopk708vHikzJNU9O3_aN6-PKQgkTskzSlvKi4ofgWFzMeRgDsw6FEHRp999vxtcAy8p_tv/s200/September+30-2011+005.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
Sorry, friends. I've been neglecting you. I needed a diabetes break. A long one... well, as much of a break as you can get from diabetes. It was just that after writing my research up for my Master's and participating in real life diabetes relations and trying to keep up online... I got really REALLY sick of thinking and talking about diabetes ALL the time. </div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: black;">After hanging out at this year's</span> <a href="http://www.connectedinmotion.ca/events/past-events/winter-slipstream-weekend-2012/" target="_blank">Slipstream</a><span style="color: black;"> I'm feeling a bit better about things. So, I thought maybe it was time to start posting things again. I hope you forgive me for being away so long and without any notice. I promise to be better about keeping in touch.</span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-3918083315378427152011-10-09T16:18:00.000-04:002011-10-09T16:19:02.836-04:00"Ha! Made you gush," said the Insulin Pump.<div style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I keep getting nasty gushers. Like non-stop bleeding everywhere gushers. Half the time I put in a new infusion set and blood draws up through the canula right away. So, all this in mind, of course when I woke up at 4am the first thing thought in my brain was, "Oh, I forgot to take out my old site. I should rip that out RIGHT NOW." Smartness. I really wanted to have to get up to change clothes and bedding at that hour.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVl9dispzNgKV51vMg8Dv5PbH3yOs2_s8mJ5FNfljVJ6QT_-iOeVE9obBssEQrFYahiw8DwhbEgd1hyphenhyphen6WeJ8jh9xop9C7Z94DiWguEV4rq3Y69ahZW6eAR7Y4mDtpWULo3IYd9iOKvXFe/s1600/Mum+and+Hair+010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOVl9dispzNgKV51vMg8Dv5PbH3yOs2_s8mJ5FNfljVJ6QT_-iOeVE9obBssEQrFYahiw8DwhbEgd1hyphenhyphen6WeJ8jh9xop9C7Z94DiWguEV4rq3Y69ahZW6eAR7Y4mDtpWULo3IYd9iOKvXFe/s320/Mum+and+Hair+010.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEgY9-8m24yf2wWBrToyWfyfjSWsg2RxdZ1iIVbdacmuGY0P9tn2GKbmX70v3uXqzLfXXG8m0b8B6Gz6Y2dtmDQtnBPCOORvPLW1kL_8Muszt4uCvnZmAbKKAzSHWb0Ye21k4EFeOUfjxm/s1600/Mum+and+Hair+038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEgY9-8m24yf2wWBrToyWfyfjSWsg2RxdZ1iIVbdacmuGY0P9tn2GKbmX70v3uXqzLfXXG8m0b8B6Gz6Y2dtmDQtnBPCOORvPLW1kL_8Muszt4uCvnZmAbKKAzSHWb0Ye21k4EFeOUfjxm/s320/Mum+and+Hair+038.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJMoF69RL7d_9EQ9VZbOTg7cpP9r5SLAGTchVV4kK03nYVReqksvUAtZHyjfdzGT2yWbEW9dXPyNPaCR8UpKz-jZfMnsZlKsj8UO-AifEoNlJjXQietRxJKQX1TUtcA7ELQfnlclETirrO/s1600/Mum+and+Hair+052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJMoF69RL7d_9EQ9VZbOTg7cpP9r5SLAGTchVV4kK03nYVReqksvUAtZHyjfdzGT2yWbEW9dXPyNPaCR8UpKz-jZfMnsZlKsj8UO-AifEoNlJjXQietRxJKQX1TUtcA7ELQfnlclETirrO/s320/Mum+and+Hair+052.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;">That's really just a sample size. It went EVERYWHERE. Maybe I should start pulling them out while standing over a basin or something?</span></span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-64525316916726745962011-09-01T15:45:00.002-04:002011-09-01T15:47:50.692-04:00Diabetes Art Day 2011<span style="color: black;">It's been hectic this summer, so I don't have much this year, but I like this day... and I wanted to contribute something... so, I give you this:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqykoq50PZwfFgt5-2ve7GJhVNrnZFPOzZX1CHaMcJNI3CVdbih3g9muiV6sVPbJw2QZsmgsSq-_PZT_FEfxBae-gWQw_VCJxyF52ey9TrXf7rPb9kqb5jOADVxUlWnPZPUnq9iaUyqddF/s1600/blood+033.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqykoq50PZwfFgt5-2ve7GJhVNrnZFPOzZX1CHaMcJNI3CVdbih3g9muiV6sVPbJw2QZsmgsSq-_PZT_FEfxBae-gWQw_VCJxyF52ey9TrXf7rPb9kqb5jOADVxUlWnPZPUnq9iaUyqddF/s320/blood+033.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="color: black;">and, look, you can meme that:</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8gvjE_GnT1goECXygFInyovRL8ZaonTjhbC5xlXdnLbQjaxf0H__AmsP2ZCjrGeXRtfnwSph_NbH8Rf_AQFYyvzstVWxXyq2ylHZYBSRU4f9iB2XUixTAF_Gjl5qunVwnTrfrDzGG3lVe/s1600/blood+033a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8gvjE_GnT1goECXygFInyovRL8ZaonTjhbC5xlXdnLbQjaxf0H__AmsP2ZCjrGeXRtfnwSph_NbH8Rf_AQFYyvzstVWxXyq2ylHZYBSRU4f9iB2XUixTAF_Gjl5qunVwnTrfrDzGG3lVe/s320/blood+033a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="color: black;">You can read more about Diabetes Art Day at Lee Ann's </span><a href="http://www.thebuttercompartment.com/?p=6445" style="color: #660000;">blog</a><span style="color: black;"> or the </span><a href="http://www.diabetesartday.com/participate/" style="color: #660000;">official site</a><span style="color: black;">.</span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-44249055013491928312011-07-27T17:04:00.001-04:002011-07-27T17:05:20.895-04:00This is important: Professor Jean Claude Mbanya, president of the IDF speaks about diabetes around the globe<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.adobe.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,0,0" height="105" id="153181" name="153181" width="210"><param name="movie" value="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/btrplayer.swf?file=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogtalkradio.com%2Fdiabetessocmed%2F2011%2F07%2F22%2Fdsma-live%2Fplaylist.xml&autostart=false&bufferlength=5&volume=80&corner=rounded&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/flashplayercallback.aspx" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="menu" value="false" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/btrplayer.swf" flashvars="file=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogtalkradio.com%2Fdiabetessocmed%2F2011%2F07%2F22%2Fdsma-live%2fplaylist.xml&autostart=false&shuffle=false&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FlashPlayerCallback.aspx&width=210&height=105&volume=80&corner=rounded" width="210" height="105" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" quality="high" wmode="transparent" menu="false" name="153181" id="153181" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed></object></div><div style="font-size: 10px; text-align: center; width: 440px;"><div style="text-align: center;">Listen to <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/">internet radio</a> with <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/diabetessocmed">DiabetesSocMed</a> on Blog Talk Radio</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify; width: 440px;"><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">July 27th, 1921 insulin was discovered by Banting & Best and their dog friends. I think about them sometimes. Sometimes I wonder what I would said if I got to somehow skip back in time a bit and have a chat with them. I know when they realized that what they had and what it meant for people with diabetes, the group decided to sell the patent for $1. This allowed the drug speedier production. I wonder, considering this good will, what they would think of some of the situations described by Professor Mbanya, president of the <a href="http://www.idf.org/">International Diabetes Federation</a>, where parents are faced with the grim reality that treating their one child with diabetes could mean devastating hardship or even death for the rest of the family? I would surely feel embarassed to tell them that at this point in time there are still people who die from diabetes, because they simply don't have access to the insulin they need. </span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.idf.org/sites/default/files/O-is-for-OUTRAGE_banner_250x250.gif"><img border="0" src="http://www.idf.org/sites/default/files/O-is-for-OUTRAGE_banner_250x250.gif" /></a></div></div></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-78019875121579944772011-07-26T17:52:00.000-04:002011-07-26T17:52:40.372-04:00Bahahahaha<div style="color: black;">OMG. I saw this and started to laugh so hard. My dad used to send me to school with the biggest lunches ever! Except it wasn't purely out of fear, being on multiple daily injections (Regular and NPH insulin at that) I NEEDED all that food. He also made a point of including no or low-carb snacks, just in case I got hungry, but didn't really need any more carbs. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW-_waPE9i4w4N_mT5MFmjRU7S_UOd3hyphenhyphen2JA7Zhf6ywBhD8rfDDhrG9HtqPgDEDHwQ78uUb5jsN2q0SKUjddqWcxifGV12otBPlxo7Hk1G3U2jZRb3D8euoxV4ION8NAhazMMPc2USNC_f/s1600/476.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW-_waPE9i4w4N_mT5MFmjRU7S_UOd3hyphenhyphen2JA7Zhf6ywBhD8rfDDhrG9HtqPgDEDHwQ78uUb5jsN2q0SKUjddqWcxifGV12otBPlxo7Hk1G3U2jZRb3D8euoxV4ION8NAhazMMPc2USNC_f/s320/476.gif" width="268" /></a></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Now, to say this thing was massive is probably a major understatement; it was really closer to a snack truck, or maybe even a portable grocery store. So with that image in your mind, the best story to come of this situation: I remember going to the bathroom and not having anywhere to put my <strike></strike> ginormous lunch, so I put it on the floor (I know, maybe eww, but it <i>was</i> in a plastic bag.) Then I heard these three popular girls go, "HOLY! SHIT! Whose MASSIVE lunch is that???" Yeah, I stayed in the stall until they left. I wasn't mortified or afraid, I just couldn't think of what to say to them... like, really, how do you come back from that? Anyway, I seem to remember I did feel a little self-conscious about my<strike></strike> space-shuttle-sized lunches after, but not enough to stop lugging them around... </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;">At any rate, now, I honestly just think the whole ordeal </span><i style="color: black;">really</i><span style="color: black;"> funny.</span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-66262300947889539882011-06-17T16:51:00.000-04:002011-06-17T16:51:45.778-04:00Back-up Packrat<div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I've developed this odd quirk whereby I have back-ups of EVERYTHING: back-up shampoo, back-up conditioner, back-up toothpaste, back-up granola bars, back-up laundry detergent, back-up coats, back-up bags, back-up etc... And I get REALLY anxious if I don't have my back-ups.</span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It finally dawned on me it stems from a bonafide anxiety around always requiring: back-up food, back-up glucose tabs, back-up insulin, back-up infusion sites, back-up cartridges, back-up needles, back-up medical things etc... </span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The bad news is I got a lot of clutter. The good news is I'm ready for the zombie apocalypse.</span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXuL-CJm5YnFJXAWtfTA4XJdTG_CxP4tto4rcOSnOzYGcjW5hfDeohtKl5yMzgKOTWYqVsJqFuYJFFihWcpbAR7iMejyXP6pYndv7ld2uCkYeaGEqbtOgDMJf8ulMEykVv_iFkURTrr1jJ/s1600/zombie_warn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXuL-CJm5YnFJXAWtfTA4XJdTG_CxP4tto4rcOSnOzYGcjW5hfDeohtKl5yMzgKOTWYqVsJqFuYJFFihWcpbAR7iMejyXP6pYndv7ld2uCkYeaGEqbtOgDMJf8ulMEykVv_iFkURTrr1jJ/s320/zombie_warn.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black;">Curiously, most of these symptoms are similar </span><br style="color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">to those of a low blood glucose... though with respect</span><br style="color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">to the last point: I'm not so picky about what I </span><br style="color: black;" /><span style="color: black;">eat when low.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-25082891422445801082011-05-21T16:37:00.001-04:002011-05-21T16:41:43.417-04:00MacGyver Moment: Knit Pump Case<div style="color: black;">So, my Mum got in a bit of an accident last weekend (she is okay, but a bit banged up and stressed) and I wasn't able to finish all the posts for <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2011/05/second-annual-diabetes-blog-week.html">Diabetes Blog Week</a>. My post for Sunday was for <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/03836215891806148229">Karen</a>, who started and organizes Diabetes Blog Week. Something I realized about Karen while reading her posts this time around is that she also <a href="http://www.mostlyselftaughtknitter.com/">knits</a>! So, in the spirit of Karen's awesomeness I have amalgamated the interests of both her blogs with a knitted pump cases! </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">There are two cases I have made. Both are supposed to be worn around the side of a bra...</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="color: black; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_BKMUvZLrOl2jNEgG4rUtcDes_21j0hB7-SxrD43iYbqijtYdIcCuubBM9oB5OuSiyWpoWe3Id3wZsmtfXp66hie2Z7uFdiUW-dphc_UbE-0SmlTBYWB_Li1RJxI4jqVIi4udvwQplqh/s1600/Insulin+Pump+Holder.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_BKMUvZLrOl2jNEgG4rUtcDes_21j0hB7-SxrD43iYbqijtYdIcCuubBM9oB5OuSiyWpoWe3Id3wZsmtfXp66hie2Z7uFdiUW-dphc_UbE-0SmlTBYWB_Li1RJxI4jqVIi4udvwQplqh/s320/Insulin+Pump+Holder.png" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fig. 1: Where you can wear it <br />
(though, really, wear it anywhere you like)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">The first is a little more simple... </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><b><u>Simple Knit Pump Case</u></b></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: black; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioI71rT1wucE5AhyvHnLRQa4at6yHxF3hxlJwRtYZhmbijr8NQqzgreASwG_c-kwRayilw9Q2rsQhByBegDpWYkDC8RZ9rEScH6SaxTRBRzDxCLKomSQKdQETYlXnFoHnL77sozO18BJ4q/s1600/DSC_0702.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioI71rT1wucE5AhyvHnLRQa4at6yHxF3hxlJwRtYZhmbijr8NQqzgreASwG_c-kwRayilw9Q2rsQhByBegDpWYkDC8RZ9rEScH6SaxTRBRzDxCLKomSQKdQETYlXnFoHnL77sozO18BJ4q/s320/DSC_0702.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Yarn</i>: <a href="http://www.bernat.com/product.php?LGC=satin&SPP=999">Bernat Satin</a> [100% Acrylic; 100g; 149 m/163 yrds] (I used the colour Buff, but there are a lot of colours to choose from- beige and earth tones to bright and colourful)</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Needles</i>: 5mm/US8 </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Button</i>: 15mm button</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Gauge</i>: 18 sts/24 rows = 4X4 inches using size US8 needles</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Directions</i>:</div><div style="color: black;">Body section:</div><div style="color: black;">Cast on 16 stiches. </div><div style="color: black;">1st row: knit all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">2nd row: purl all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Repeat these two rows until the piece measures 6.5 inches and ending on a purl row.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Begin to decrease for the strap:</div><div style="color: black;">Row 1: K1, SSK, knit to last three stitches, K2tog, K1</div><div style="color: black;">Row 2: Purl all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Row 3: Knit all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Repeat these three rows until 5 stitches remain.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Continue in stockinette stitch until the strap measures 6 inches (from the first decrease round.)</div><div style="color: black;">K2, YO twice, K2together, knit to end.</div><div style="color: black;">Next row, P3, drop the next sticth (one of the YO), P2.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Continue in stockinette for another 1 inch and bind off all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Finishing:</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">With the wrong side (purl) facing you fold the body section up 3.25 inches. Join seams on either side to create a pocket.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Weave in all ends.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Sew a 15mm button on in the middle of the upper front of the pocket (opposite side of the strap.)</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="color: black; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPcXllHTo3sBMQVREfcxLgNFi73x5FyGfJ7IRPMNT_ep9wdL6EG4mpNWFqlFOgQc8gwL5Hx7xx_B_pPT8mWbQJW1KT9P-bZiTnEWgpE2gQHsAnFJNV73cXTqdCr94axPf_rNneHsnZOi6V/s1600/Simple.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPcXllHTo3sBMQVREfcxLgNFi73x5FyGfJ7IRPMNT_ep9wdL6EG4mpNWFqlFOgQc8gwL5Hx7xx_B_pPT8mWbQJW1KT9P-bZiTnEWgpE2gQHsAnFJNV73cXTqdCr94axPf_rNneHsnZOi6V/s320/Simple.png" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fig. 2: Really off-scale schemata... <br />
be thankful I don't give instructions for bridges.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: black; text-align: center;"></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><b><u>In the Round Knit Pump Case</u></b></div><div style="color: black;"><u><br />
</u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: black; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjupWnzPnETczrkMwM2A3HgsgZW98WgWEq3SMDnO2ftEdwx0RJTe4t6lv7hviRERNkWlkULIdgEHxHauhngczQt1cSyCrcjQhpcH56gcFO4hhi68g8xyq8tgWuv2CYcByImMiLaUrzaGnAM/s1600/DSC_0718.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjupWnzPnETczrkMwM2A3HgsgZW98WgWEq3SMDnO2ftEdwx0RJTe4t6lv7hviRERNkWlkULIdgEHxHauhngczQt1cSyCrcjQhpcH56gcFO4hhi68g8xyq8tgWuv2CYcByImMiLaUrzaGnAM/s320/DSC_0718.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Yarn</i>: <a href="http://www.sirdar.co.uk/yarns/babyYarns/dkBaby/Snuggly_Baby_Bamboo_DK_F071">Sirdar Snuggly Baby Bamboo</a> [80% Bamboo sourced viscose, 20% Wool; 50g; 95 m/104 yrds] (I used the colour Nestle, which apparently has been discontinued)</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Needles</i>: 4 double pointed size 4mm/US6</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Button</i>: 15mm button </div><div style="color: black;"></div><div style="color: black;"><i>Gauge</i>: 22 sts/28 rows = 4X4 inches using size US6 needles</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Directions</i>:</div><div style="color: black;">Body section:</div><div style="color: black;">Cast on 30 stitches, distribute evenly among three needles and join for knitting in the round.</div><div style="color: black;">1st round: Place marker to mark beginning of round. K all stitches. </div><div style="color: black;">Continue knitting each round until the piece measures 3 inches.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K2tog, K13, SSK, K to end of round.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K2tog, K11, SSK, K to end of round.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K2tog, K10, SSK, K to end of round.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Next round K2tog, K8, SSK, K to end of round.</div><div style="color: black;">Rearrange stiches onto two needles, so that there are twelve on one needle and twelve on the other.</div><div style="color: black;">Bind off in <a href="http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEsummer04/FEATtheresasum04.html">kitchener stitch</a>. </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Strap:</div><div style="color: black;">From the original marker placed to mark the beginning of the work, pick-up and knit 15 stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">1st row: K2, P until last two stitches, K2</div><div style="color: black;">2nd row: K2, SSK, K until last four stitches, K2tog, K2 (13 stitches left)</div><div style="color: black;">3rd row: K2, P until last two stitches, K2</div><div style="color: black;">4th row: K2, SSK, K until last four stitches, K2tog, K2 (11 stitches left)</div><div style="color: black;">5th row: K2, P until last two stitches, K2</div><div style="color: black;">6th row: K2, SSK, K until last four stitches, K2tog, K2 (9 stitches left)</div><div style="color: black;">7th row: K2, P until last two stitches, K2</div><div style="color: black;">8th row: K2, SSK, K until last four stitches, K2tog, K2 (7 stitches left)</div><div style="color: black;">9th row: K2, P until last two stitches, K2</div><div style="color: black;">10th row: K all stitches</div><div style="color: black;">Making sure to end on an odd row, repeat last two rows until strap measures 6 inches (or desired length) from the pick-up stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Next row: K3, YO twice, K2together, knit to end.</div><div style="color: black;">Next row: K2, P, drop the next sticth (one of the YO), P to last 2 stitches, K2.</div><div style="color: black;">Next row: K all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;">Next row: K2, P to last two stitches, K2.</div><div style="color: black;">Repeat last two rows for one more inch.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Bind off all stitches.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Weave in ends and sew on 15mm button on middle of front.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Some notes about the patterns: </div><ul style="color: black;"><li>I have an Animas 2020 pump and, so, all the measurements were derived from this pumps dimensions... but I the material ends up having a fair amount of give and I think the measurements would work well enough for the Metronic pumps as well...</li>
<li>It may seem weird to have a smaller strap, but it makes it easier to take the pump out of the case without having to undo the button... </li>
<li>I did this last pattern I did from memory. If any of the decreases are off, please let me know... </li>
<li>I don't mind (if it ends up working well and you end up liking the pattern) people sharing the pattern, but please give credit and link back here. (Thanks <3)</li>
</ul><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-7204686210953492922011-05-13T23:23:00.000-04:002011-05-15T02:15:51.025-04:00Awesome Things<div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Today's post for <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2011/05/second-annual-diabetes-blog-week.html">Diabetes Blog Week</a> is about <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=KarenBitterSweet&postid=04May2011a">Awesome Things</a>:</div><blockquote style="color: black;">In February the #dsma blog carnival challenged us <a href="http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/introducing-the-dsma-blog-carnival/" target="_blank">to write about the most awesome thing we’d done DESPITE diabetes</a>. Today let’s put a twist on that topic and focus on the good things diabetes has brought us. What awesome thing have you (or your child) done BECAUSE of diabetes? After all, like my blog header says, <i>life with diabetes isn’t all bad</i>!</blockquote><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">So, last summer I discovered a site for the group called <a href="http://www.connectedinmotion.ca/">Connected in Motion</a>. They provide different outdoor events for people with type 1 diabetes, in the belief that we all have a lot of valuable lived-knowledge about diabetes that we to share with and learn from one another. I saw that they had a weekend canoe trip planned for the end of August...</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">FLASH BACK TO SEVERAL YEARS EARLIER: I remember friends had asked me to go camping with them. I remember noting that we would need to brainstorm about food, because at the time I was on shots and very sensitive to insulin... which meant that any exercise (like carrying a bag of groceries!) meant dealing with lows. I remember them saying there wasn't a lot of exercise involved, so I should be fine. "But, isn't there hiking/portaging and canoeing?" I asked. "Yes," they replied, "but it's really not that much exercise." To which my brain thought: These are my friends and I love them, but there is no way in hell I'm going out into the woods with them. So, I had always wondered what I was missing out on in these trips... So, figuring that everyone on the trip would be kind of in the same boat (no pun intended... ha!) I signed up for the canoe/camping trip with Connected in Motion. </div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Now, here's how I remember the conversation with my parents after I signed up for this trip:</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Parents: So, do you know anyone else going on the trip?</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Me: No.</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Parents: Do you know people that have done the trips before, then?</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Me: Nope.</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Parents: Well, how did you find out about it?</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Me: I found it on the internet.</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Parents: (Silence)</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Me: It's going to be fiiiiine. I think maybe I do know someone who knows something about them... ?</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: black; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxJ4R5sE_Hx8_Qjh_EG8x1cr_up2BHCvpnfcfyOl90iClzzgzsPYzXE9aVqE_lmOo5gp_p9yYlAPpj_W39VV-JO5BArpMp3PtoMpB8iZi3cm3-A1HQ2x4_Qlp9yIc6l0qn8UoGN5Epxi49/s1600/34449_468334332588_626227588_6470894_4597408_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxJ4R5sE_Hx8_Qjh_EG8x1cr_up2BHCvpnfcfyOl90iClzzgzsPYzXE9aVqE_lmOo5gp_p9yYlAPpj_W39VV-JO5BArpMp3PtoMpB8iZi3cm3-A1HQ2x4_Qlp9yIc6l0qn8UoGN5Epxi49/s320/34449_468334332588_626227588_6470894_4597408_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">That trip was the first time ever that I got to hang out with people that had type 1 diabetes. I kind of underestimated how great that would be. I didn't have to explain diabetes or glucometers or lows or highs to anyone. I didn't have to ask people if they minded stopping so I could test my blood; I just said I needed to or did it and people understood. (Which made me realize I should never really ask. I should just tell people it's going to happen, stop and do it.) It also felt pretty great to be able to do something that I felt like I would never get to do. After that trip, if anyone had asked if I wanted to go camping/canoeing I felt like I had the tools and knowledge to be able to do so. </div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">Anyway, I thought this was a good story for this post because it's not just something I did despite diabetes, but also because of diabetes... And not just my diabetes, but everyone's on the trip: without their support and knowledge I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I had that weekend.</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;">About six months later I went to another event hosted by Connected in Motion. At one point we all gathered and figured out how long each of us had had diabetes... then we added up all those years to see how much live experience was sitting in the room:</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: black; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtqx3QbPcAHTjCk0DeBwP7LSgBUKFBKFR2mWobZDNZA50z8mhX9-NRh2Zm-C_GBTaUuHjHn88w4mluQTbnRmadC299_HCdu5MrZWPhltu3Y7ULpjMLG1tRX7v9NsEER6lFdqDPv_WIlKbU/s1600/0130111137-00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtqx3QbPcAHTjCk0DeBwP7LSgBUKFBKFR2mWobZDNZA50z8mhX9-NRh2Zm-C_GBTaUuHjHn88w4mluQTbnRmadC299_HCdu5MrZWPhltu3Y7ULpjMLG1tRX7v9NsEER6lFdqDPv_WIlKbU/s320/0130111137-00.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-27397709111951195702011-05-12T09:30:00.106-04:002011-05-15T01:22:58.545-04:00Ten things I dislike about diabetes...<div style="color: black;">Today's <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2011/05/second-annual-diabetes-blog-week.html">Diabetes Blog Week</a> post is about <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=KarenBitterSweet&postid=04May2011">10 Things I Hate about Having Diabetes</a>:</div><blockquote style="color: black;">Having a positive attitude is important . . . but let’s face it, diabetes isn’t all sunshine and roses (or glitter and unicorns, for that matter). So today let’s vent by listing ten things about diabetes that we hate. Make them funny, make them sarcastic, make them serious, make them anything you want them to be!!</blockquote><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">I don't know if this makes me weird, but I had a hard time coming up with a list of ten. (Serious???) Seriously. (WTF?!?) I know... <sigh></sigh></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">I didn't think it would be that hard, but I could think of things that I find annoying or that I maybe even severely dislike... I couldn't think of things that I HATE. I feel like diabetes is so a part of me at this point that it feels like saying I hate myself... and I think if I felt like that I would just stop dealing with all of it, so I kind of don't really want to ever feel like that about it... </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">In light of this strange conundrum, I made this about things that I dislike about having diabetes. Hope that's okay.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Here are my top ten dislikes:</div><ol style="color: black;"><li> Going low</li>
<li>Going low and not realizing it until it's really, really low... and inadvertently eating the top of the <a href="http://www.dex4.ca/pictures/Dex4NewProducts.jpg">glucose tab tube</a>, because it's the same width and height </li>
<li>Eating extra food when you go low and you've already eaten... Teletubbies tummy (See image below.)</li>
<li>Eating after you throw-up, so you don't go low</li>
<li>How much more complicated it makes having other illnesses, even just a cold</li>
<li>That doctor's blame all other physical symptoms as complications of diabetes, even when they have nothing to do with diabetes... and they're not even recognized as complications of diabetes</li>
<li>Writing papers (the stress and sitting around make my blood sugars go high)</li>
<li>The sawdust-mouth feel that goes along with a high</li>
<li>All the extra medical gear I have to lug around (when I travel it's half my luggage!)</li>
<li>The sense of isolation when you don't have people around that understand/have diabetes</li>
</ol><div style="color: black;">I can say out of all of those, the one thing I really do hate is going low. I'm so sensitive to insulin it really doesn't take much for me to take a nose dive, though it has been better on the pump and when I stay away from certain foods. Sitting at a 1 mmol/L is a pretty disgusting and frightening experience.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZ077O2VkrUOi-Xcy1v37yBWBK4_O3MMS9RQ5yWlykigsPrPmsAdM7n1z7WWLJzIflR30La5oA6VtKnm7MemFcy_v9JdC2hOlRLuFWy1c0s8pTCyZBfHhotCFlMf4o9bvq4JTYMgS54FE/s1600/Teletubbies.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZ077O2VkrUOi-Xcy1v37yBWBK4_O3MMS9RQ5yWlykigsPrPmsAdM7n1z7WWLJzIflR30La5oA6VtKnm7MemFcy_v9JdC2hOlRLuFWy1c0s8pTCyZBfHhotCFlMf4o9bvq4JTYMgS54FE/s1600/Teletubbies.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dramatization of #3</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="color: black;"></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-56815333982230108702011-05-11T19:34:00.000-04:002011-05-21T19:35:30.208-04:00Diabetes Bloopers<div style="color: black;">Today's topic for <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2011/05/second-annual-diabetes-blog-week.html">Diabetes Blog Week</a> is <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=KarenBitterSweet&postid=02May2011">Diabetes Bloopers</a>:</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><blockquote style="color: black;">Whether you or your loved one are newly diagnosed or have been dealing with diabetes for a while, you probably realize that things can (and will) go wrong. But sometimes the things that go wrong aren’t stressful - instead sometimes they are downright funny! Go ahead and share your Diabetes Blooper - your “I can’t believe I did that" moment - your big “D-oh” - and let’s all have a good laugh together!! </blockquote><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">This isn't necessarily a diabetes d'oh moment, but it is my favouritest ever medical moment! (Actually, the one I referenced in the previous <a href="http://naturalborncyborg.blogspot.com/2011/05/letter-writing-day.html">post</a>...)</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">It happened the first morning I was in the hospital after finding out I had diabetes. Unbeknownst to me Nurse H, the heavily perfumed and make-upped diabetes nurse, would waltz into my room at a bright and early 6 am. VERY CHIPPER. She carried with her a scale and a class full of nursing students. </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Later, I would find out, I was the talk of the ward, as no one there had ever seen a real live type 1 diabetic (I am assuming at that point 'diabetic' was all they saw me as, because most of them certainly didn't treat me like a person...) </i></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">At any rate, in paraded Nurse H and her posse of students. She then cheerily woke me up from near DKA coma state, threw down that scale and happily ordered me to jump out of bed and hop on. </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><i>Now, I'm sure anybody reading this who has diabetes knows all too well that you don't feel too shit hot after having high blood glucose levels for weeks on end. But I don't want to assume everyone reading this knows, so just in case you don't, let's just say I wasn't too into the idea of waking up and getting out of bed... Or, actually, let's just say I was maybe only capable of partial consciousness... </i></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Blearily, I rolled out of bed and tried really, really hard to stand on that scale. REALLY HARD... but I kept falling off. I just couldn't seem to balance right and every time Nurse H went to read my weight I'd start tilting over and have to step off one foot to steady myself. Me being bright I thought up the perfect solution, and put my arms straight out to steady myself... but I still kept falling off. </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Of course, I thought it was hilarious and proceeded to express this by giggling really loud... Somehow, though, when I looked around, no one else was laughing-- actually, I would say they were all pretty flippin' serious... Which made me laugh even harder, because it made in all the more absurd.</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">At this point, we come to my proudest medical moment ever, because as I wobbled around with my arms out-stretched and giggling, I <u>yelled</u> out: </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Oh my God!!!! I'M LIKE AN AIRPLANE!!!!!!!!!!" </span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">Nobody laughed. I still don't know how they got me to eventually stand on that scale. I was completely out of my head...</div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">My only regret in the whole incident is not having had the wherewithal to have caught a glimpse of Nurse H's face, because I am sure she was mortified... She was, after all, showing off her only ever type 1 specimen. </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;">From time to time I wonder if the student nurses that attended class that day walked away thinking my actions prototypical behaviours for type 1 diabetes... Secretly, as long as they didn't end up working in diabetes care, I kind of hope that's exactly what they took away from that morning.</span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-30893611219489642982011-05-10T21:07:00.000-04:002011-05-10T21:07:45.949-04:00Letter Writing Day<div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today's topic for <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2011/05/second-annual-diabetes-blog-week.html">Diabetes Blog Week</a> is <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=KarenBitterSweet&postid=01May2011c">Letter Writing Day</a>:</span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><blockquote style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">You can write a letter to diabetes if you’d like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to write a letter to your child with diabetes. Or a letter from your adult self to the d-child you were. Whomever you choose as a recipient, today is the day to tell them what you are feeling.</span></blockquote><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dear 15-year-old Self,</span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">If this time-machine thing works out as planned, it's January of 1994 and you're sitting in the car on the way to the hospital. Yes, you have diabetes. No, no matter how much you bargain with the ether, it isn't going to go away. You are about to enter a medical system that does not do well with informing young people of what is going on. So, let me give you the heads up on some of the things that are going to happen over the next eight days:</span></div><ol style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><li><span style="font-size: small;">When your parents bring you toileteries from home MAKE SURE THEY BRING YOU SOME DECENT/NORMAL SMELLING SOAP. The Bacto-Stat soap they give you to use in the hospital smells like disease. So discomforting.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">They are going to TAKE YOUR BLOOD EVERY FOUR HOURS, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. It will freak you right out the first night, because nobody told you it was coming. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">They are going to WAKE YOU UP AT 6 AM THE FIRST DAY YOU ARE THERE. Since you are still practically in a coma you will do something (that maybe only you ever find) incredibly funny. Enjoy it. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">That first morning they wake you up at 6 am THEY WILL BRING AN ENTIRE NURSING CLASS TO OBSERVE YOU. No one will ask if it's okay. They will just barge right in like it is their right to do so. If you don't want them there, tell them to leave... but not until after you do the incredibly funny thing.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">There will be a nurse that comes in to your room. She will not even greet you. Whatever you do, DO NOT LET THIS NURSE GRAB YOUR ARM! She will take something called a <a href="http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drug-60428-Heparin+Lock+IV.aspx?drugid=60428&drugname=Heparin+Lock+IV">Heparin Lock</a> (or Hep-Lock). It will look like a long large gauge needle and she will just shove it in your arm. They will tell you it is so they can take blood from <a href="http://www.manufacturer.com/cimages/product/www.worldtradeaa.com/0418/n/PRD200605050804.jpg">this IV</a> instead of always taking it from your arm, where it will hurt and bruise. BEWARE: This is a lie! There will be only one nurse with the Heparin and she will generally not be available. Then, they will just take the blood from your arm anyways!!! So, for the love of God, I repeat: DO NOT LET THIS NURSE GRAM YOUR ARM.</span></li>
</ol><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">In general, diabetes will be a lonely disease for a very long time. People will help out (and that will be awesome), but no matter how many are in the waiting room you still have to learn to go into those doctor encounters alone. Growing up people will feel badly for you, they may call you 'brave' or 'courageous'... even though you don't feel sad for yourself, nor brave about any of it. Don't let people treat you like your porcelain or fragile (I know that you won't!) Don't strive to be normal-- it's a bullshit social construct. Do visit the Banting House in London, ON sooner; it will give you a greater appreciation for wonderful it is that you get to finish high school, go to university (ugh, THREE degress... I know), make great friends and love a lot. Most of all feel proud of yourself, because you will handle a complex chronic illness (in combination with the lot of crappy life circumstances you already know about) with grace and determination... and that's all anybody can ask.</span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sincerely and with love,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;">Your 33-year-old self.</span></div><ol></ol>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-39342278954295108572011-05-09T14:19:00.009-04:002011-05-09T23:48:06.736-04:00Admiring Our Differences<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >This week is <a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2011/05/second-annual-diabetes-blog-week.html">Diabetes Blog Week</a> and the first topic is '<a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=KarenBitterSweet&postid=01May2011a">Admiring Our Differences</a>':<br /></span><blockquote style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:130%;">We are all diabetes bloggers, but we come from many different perspectives. Last year, Diabetes Blog Week opened my eyes to all of the different kinds of blogs (and bloggers) out there – Type 1s, Type 2s, LADAs, parents of kids with diabetes, spouses of adults with diabetes and so on. Today let’s talk about how great it is to learn from the perspectives of those unlike us! Have you learned new things from your T2 friends? Are D-Parents your heroes? Do LADA blogs give you insight to another diagnosis story? Do T1s who’ve lived well with diabetes since childhood give you hope? Pick a type of blogger who is different from you and tell us why they inspire you - why you admire them - why it’s great that we are all the same but different!!</span></blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I have a confession: I always thought that LADA or latent autoimmune diabetes in adults was just like Type 1, except in adults... BUT...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Not too long ago I was writing a definition about diabetes mellitus for a paper. I had a lot of resources about Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, but nothing about that type somewhere in-between: Type 1.5. I found a snippet here and there in different books or articles, but couldn't find all that much. I thought maybe it would be best to ask a real expert about LADA and sent a tweet to </span><a style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);" href="http://twitter.com/#%21/Diabetic_Iz_Me">@Diabetic_Iz_Me</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">, a.k.a. </span><a style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);" href="http://diabetic-iz-me.com/">Cherise</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">, who has had LADA since 2004. Cherise referred me to one of her favourite sites: the </span><a style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);" href="http://www.isletsofhope.com/diabetes/symptoms/latent_autoimmune_diabetes_lada_1.html">Islets of Hope</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> page. From there I was able to find a lot of references and information... and learn lots about how my assumptions of this Type 1.5 were WRONG.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">From what I read (and please correct me if I am wrong) LADA starts off looking a lot like Type 2, except unlike Type 2 there are certain autoantibodies present that are linked with the destruction of beta cells. In Type 1 there are way more autoantibodies and the beta cells die off much more quickly, but in LADA there is only one or two of these autoimmune proteins and the pancreas cells are destroyed much more slowly. Every person's diabetes is unique and requires individual plans of care, but the average time it takes a person with LADA to require insulin injections is around 4 years. So, kind of similar, but still different. I was glad to have the opportunity to challenge my assumptions and learn something new. I was also glad to have someone open to questions and willing to inform (Thanks Cherise!).</span><br /></span></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-8576115340001966672011-02-24T13:50:00.004-05:002011-02-24T14:16:54.188-05:00Ghosts.<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">So, I'm living with this ghost. Well, I am haunted by a lot of ghosts, but this one is different. Somehow, I'm not sure how.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I figured out what was making me sick. It's a long fucking story and I don't feel like going through it. Basically I figured that I have really bad reactions to milk and soy. I stopped eating it. You'd think that feeling physically better would somehow equate to feeling better mentally. Apparently that's bullshit.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I am stuck amidst piles of clothing, books, general junk and I can't remember acquiring most of it. I'm trying to write papers and I can't remember how to format my papers, let alone any of the articles I've read or most of the classes I attended. I feel like I'm cleaning out a dead person's house, except it's all my stuff. I don't know who I've been for the past year... probably longer. An existence of barely getting by is apparently pretty stunned.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">In some ways now I see all these small things around me and am amazed. There are some things that seem almost magical. But they are also wholeheartedly overwhelming and painful at the same time.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I remember standing in front of the remains of this magnificent dead tree and focusing on it I thought for a while, "There's an entire live forest sitting behind this one dead tree. Why do you focus on the one that's gone?" But the truth of it is that focusing on either one doesn't negate the other. They both exist at the same time in the same place and reconciling that has been a bit much lately.</span></span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-9313770814024821592010-12-15T20:40:00.004-05:002010-12-15T21:11:36.006-05:005 more sleeps...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_U_Bdz6Ah7Mx2iG98yYGGAZvLtETpYaR1p7awEbZRvDErSbHqxMm-WKTVWk4EC0xMMLORUzMmrR46c1LHKxO6T81dSq2AYNAAF6TY75gppvctPQmqBjdXaVRTDWDNgSQrJVPyJxb704C/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_U_Bdz6Ah7Mx2iG98yYGGAZvLtETpYaR1p7awEbZRvDErSbHqxMm-WKTVWk4EC0xMMLORUzMmrR46c1LHKxO6T81dSq2AYNAAF6TY75gppvctPQmqBjdXaVRTDWDNgSQrJVPyJxb704C/s320/Untitled-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5551089199733296018" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Five more sleeps until Endoscopy Day (as if it's some calendar holiday.) It should have been this past Monday, but Zuul the gatekeeper(she was very nasty) scheduled it a week later than the doctor said. It didn't dawn on me to argue.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I basically feel like I'm force feeding now. Food, all food, makes me nauseous. And, as noted in diagram above, that pain in my stomach has come back. Sometimes it hurts and wakes me up. I regurgitate most of my food, which is also not fun. I feel dehydrated all the time and my skin is peeling. The moral of the story is... why did I do this? I'm sure there was some logical reason. Right?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">(Also, it's kind of peeving me that no one has asked if I needed anything during these past four weeks. Maybe people thought I would ask or something. Really, though, when someone says "let me know if I can help" or "do you need anything?" it's easy to just say, "actually if you can, could you pick up a few things from the store for me?" Having to ask something like that outright just feels rude and humiliating... especially when you already feel worn out and sick.)</span></span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-18381840569973000362010-12-07T00:14:00.002-05:002010-12-07T00:17:58.752-05:00Since my brain feels kind of sloshy I just make funny pictures now...<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihwfxKiMuoRDEungXNeLmQ_TAy-72uwobGVzw9SEGxg5GhbAgbImiPs1oK2K37lO4HdN3zYSN739sNaPW5rESx2OEaHKjtBcXWKyIfMGwtjepamga4M5ezQuoEnulHOj5RgzPdzkTN8-bZ/s1600/UFO+copy.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihwfxKiMuoRDEungXNeLmQ_TAy-72uwobGVzw9SEGxg5GhbAgbImiPs1oK2K37lO4HdN3zYSN739sNaPW5rESx2OEaHKjtBcXWKyIfMGwtjepamga4M5ezQuoEnulHOj5RgzPdzkTN8-bZ/s400/UFO+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547804612713944690" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;">UFO's: Sites of Infusion</span><br /></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-53256408781992945262010-12-06T16:19:00.006-05:002010-12-06T16:23:52.799-05:00Diabetes Social Media Advocacy Blog Guest Post<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I know this is a bit late, but I was a little out of it when this first posted over at the Diabetes Social Media Advocacy blog: </span><a style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);" href="http://diabetessocmed.com/2010/guest-post-by-virtue-b/">http://diabetessocmed.com/2010/guest-post-by-virtue-b/</a></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I'd like to say thanks to Cherise and everyone over at DSMA for allowing me the space to write. All the posts for Diabetes Awareness Month were great to read.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Thanks again,</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">V.</span></span></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-40664058309295269332010-12-06T01:12:00.006-05:002010-12-06T01:54:14.116-05:00In the sea of endless night<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">So, I've pretty much stopped sleeping.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I had problems with insomnia since forever, and maybe ten years ago started to taking an older anti-depressant at night to help me sleep. But in September when I stopped eating gluten and started feeling better I suddenly found I could sleep without any meds.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">When I changed my diet I knew full well that eventually my doctors would tell me to start eating it again for about a month before the did an endoscopy to see if I did in fact have a detectable reaction to gluten. I had all these ideas that I would argue or put it off until I had finished school, but somehow in the doctor's office I didn't even flinch. I just agreed to start eating it again.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I thought, very briefly, it might be nice to have all the foods I had before... I even thought I might enjoy it. Make a list and eat whatever, just in case I find out I wouldn't be able to eat it again. I don't know how I could have been so ridiculously naive. I spent the first week in agony. I stopped sleeping then because I was in some serious pain. But, then it stopped. I don't feel any of that anymore.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Now, however, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't sleep. The other night I stayed up thinking of the same thought over and over. I have a rather disturbing temper now, which I think stems from the fact that I go through periods where I feel rather disoriented or confused. The other day I lost it and punched the side of my desk. </span><strike style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> I didn't really think it was that hard</strike><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> Okay, I punched it really hard and I punched it three times. My knuckles maybe had a bit of a black-eye for a while. It was one of those things that seemed helpful at the get-go (and honestly it was a pretty good release after a particularly stressful day), but turned out to be kind of stupid forever after thing. Also annoying, the bouts of spontaneous crying have returned. I got my flu shot the other day and there was a kid screaming and I almost completely lost my shit. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Let me tell you about my usual self: I used to work looking after kids. We were at the park one summer day. Somehow one of the spikes anchoring one of the swing sets had come unearthed from the sand. A little boy running around barefoot stepped on the spike and it tore into his foot down to the bone. His grandparents were kind of stunned and rushed him over to the fountain and just kept flushing the blood away. I walked up and asked if they had an extra diaper. I remember the man said something like, "Why would have a diaper at a time like this?" I calmly apologized for not elaborating and explained that if they had a diaper they could wrap the foot up in the diaper, tape it shut with the tabs and drive the boy to the nearest ER. So, I got them a diaper. They wrapped it up and away they went. I returned to playing with the kids without thinking twice about what happened (though I do remember somehow dealing with that spike too, thought I don't remember how anymore.) I miss that self, the person that could just deal with stuff. I'm not opposed to feeling anger or sadness or whatever, but I am opposed to it like this. It is not my normal.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Anyway, I have two weeks left of eating barf bread things and then the scope. I am not looking forward to the scope, but I think the doctor sensed the panic look in my face and mentioned they could give me something if I was really anxious about it. I just really don't like people near me in a way that I can't control. In the meantime, too, I've called the doctor that first prescribed those meds to sleep. I can work my head around self destructive behaviours for two weeks... if I have sleep. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I'm trying to keep an open mind about all this. I keep telling myself the tests might all come back fine. Maybe this is just related to other things. Secretely, though, this shit is not making me feel good. I think I just keep telling myself it's something else so I can push through the next two weeks. The truth is, after all this is done, I'm never eating gluten anything regardless of what the tests show. My body is telling me it's done. Even my blood sugars are messed, with unexplained lows after eating and equally bizarre highs at other times. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I miss sleeping and dreaming.</span></span><br /></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-91340666488671296332010-11-17T19:43:00.001-05:002010-11-17T19:45:30.792-05:00This is the long verions... (Part 2)<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:130%;">So, this is part 2, after <a href="http://naturalborncyborg.blogspot.com/2010/09/this-is-long-version-part-1.html">part 1</a>. I started writing this when I wrote the first part, before I broke it into two parts. The original time stamp on this section read 12:58 AM October 21, 2010, but I never hit publish and instead it went through rewrites in bits and pieces since then... To be honest, I don't feel much like writing this part anymore, mostly because I'm tired of all this, but...<br /><br />Bloodwork came back. Nothing. They found nothing. But, wait, I should rewind... It took everything I had to get out of bed and I was five minutes late for my appointment and the receptionist lectured me about being on time and told me that if I were late again the doctor would stop seeing me (I was obviously unwell or I would have schooled her on human rights complaints in relation to accomodating disability, but anyway... back to they found nothing...) I started crying (in part to the test results and feeling frustrating, but also in huge part because of the receptionist.) But then, the doctor wondered if I was perhaps depressed. In full-blown sob I said, 'No. I've never been depressed like this. I'm in pain..." I didn't even mention about the conversation with the receptionist. It was too much work. I did, however, manage to get sent to a rheumatologist.<br /><br />They thought I had fibromyalgia, but after the appointment the rheumatologist said otherwise. She sent me for some more bloodwork. She didn't tell me what the tests were for, but I recognized the combination and names as those for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. I was already on painkillers and she gave me enough refills to last the rest of my life. Those pills are the only way I managed to get out of bed everyday and go to school. I stopped cooking and just bought food. I stopped doing laundry. I stopped cleaning. I stopped doing anything unless I really had to...<br /><br />On top of this my blood sugars decided to give me the finger. Within the span of about a week or two, for absolutely no apparent trigger/reason, my insulin needs skyrocketed. I have never had to call my endocrinologist to help me figure out how to manage my diabetes. I've been lucky in always having been able to manage on my own. So, when I called her office asking for help, she returned my call within half and hour and also got the CDE at a clinic I was registered at to call me. She just told me to keep boosting my levels until it evened out and to keep her updated. I think they stopped after I'd just over tripled everything.<br /><br />Back to the rheumatologist- my tests came back normal. She eventually sent me for<a href="http://naturalborncyborg.blogspot.com/2010/06/questions-to-x-ray-technician.html"> x-rays</a>, because she tought maybe it was a bunch of other things and those came back fine. I was starting to get a bit peeved that all my tests were fine, but I was still feeling so shitty. I was also starting to worry that my doctors were thinking it was all in my head. I worried about that a lot, until one day I finally realized they just had no idea. I learned from all this that doctors (and maybe all people, really) are not very good at saying 'I don't know'. And, maybe they thought I thought they ought to know. I hope I didn't come across that way... I just really, really wanted them to know, which I think is a little different (thought perhaps is interpreted as the same as the former.)<br /><br />Anyway, eventually the rheumatologist said something to the effect that she couldn't find anything physically wrong with me, so all she could figure was that my joints were joints were quite lose and could maybe cause the pain. Maybe I read that wrong, but somehow I took that as an I don't know. But, she didn't leave it at that-- she also said for me to come back in six months for a check-up and to come back right away if things got worse or there was swelling. That last part made a lot of difference at that point, because instead of being the 'I don't know, you're probably just depressed' or 'I don't know, it's probably just a virus', it was 'I don't know, but were going to keep on top of this until we're sure it's nothing else.'<br /><br />So, I felt okay with that plan, but I was a bit skeptical of her diagnosis. Not because I didn't think her a capable doctor, but because I had a whole host of other symptoms that I couldn't explain with that diagnosis. By that point, my skin was literally peeling away in patches. I had parts on my scalp where if I scratched, I would get big clumps of skin peeling off; while after a shower, drying off my arms the skin would peel and look like little eraser bits. My hair was brittle, dry and falling out. My nails were brittle, peeling and breaking. My teeth were chipping on a regular basis and sometimes event felt like they were loosening. My tongue was flattened out and smooth. My saliva was disgustingly thick and I was majorly thirsty all the time. I was bruising, like massive bruising for no reason; while, any cut I had was majorly bleeding, even the pricks to my finger after lancing. My vision was messed. My feet and hands were tingling all the time. And my cognitive functioning was getting duller and duller and duller.... Until I started to have trouble telling the difference betweem dreaming and waking.<br /><br />Even though a lot of things from the past year have been a little foggy, I do remember I kept looking at this picture:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2FjeG90PuVmnfp_J_WjGGG0hf7TKiYLXEAzcM-2HnevAallIFbqPGJKB2eHuholdlL3ZvRQ6LqorCf1oyUzs9Hk1g4hg0QUboCBLN6wGFm-epQ21geMUpH9F5oW7UsMQPZHhFSxYCeeym/s1600/child+diabetes+during.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2FjeG90PuVmnfp_J_WjGGG0hf7TKiYLXEAzcM-2HnevAallIFbqPGJKB2eHuholdlL3ZvRQ6LqorCf1oyUzs9Hk1g4hg0QUboCBLN6wGFm-epQ21geMUpH9F5oW7UsMQPZHhFSxYCeeym/s320/child+diabetes+during.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537004679657312114" border="0" /></a></span><span style="font-size:130%;">Yeah, that picture. I couldn't figure out why I was so drawn to it. I mean, obviously, having diabetes and knowing the history of this photo (it is a picture of a child with diabetes before insulin), the picture is upsetting... But it took me until I felt well again to realize the underlying reasoning going on in my head; All throughout all of the doctors' appointments I've said the same thing over and over: I feel like I'm getting diabetes all over again- the thirst, the parched skin and lips, the lethargy... but there was something more to it that I couldn't verbalize and that was this: I felt like I was starving to death; that no matter how much I ate (and I ate A LOT) I was always famished. Except this time, instead of it lasting the few months it did with diabetes, this time it was going on for at least two years.<br /><br />I'm not going to tell you what turned things around just yet. I've had too many times that I thought things had been figured out or at least on the right track, only to be disappointed. Also, I'm still very much in the middle of all this and I don't feel like I'm doing quite as good an explaination of everything as I would were it a bit more in hindsight... or maybe it's just too difficult right now. Anyway, tomorrow I go see one more specialist and I hope it is the last one with which I have to meet. I will let you know how it goes and what (hopefully something) is resolved from it.<br /><br />But, in the midst of this I went to the rheumatologist... and she turned out to be really nice. She did all the usual doctor things of asking for symptoms and doing physical exams and ordering (more) blood tests. She also asked if I was doing anything over the winter holidays. I said I was just going to relax at home. She told me about how she usually goes with her friends to new york for New Years. In the end, she spent an extra fifteen or twenty minutes just talking about regular things and getting to know me... which eased my anxiety, if not physical health.<br /><br />I stopped having those dreams when I stopped taking care of kids for work. That was maybe three or four years back and until recently, I'd completely forgotten about the nightmares. It wasn't the content that brought it back though, it was the reminder of the gut feeling that used to go along with those dreams brought them back to mind...<br /><br /></span></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-62257958318999422592010-10-21T20:14:00.005-04:002010-10-21T20:21:04.414-04:00When I grow up, I'd like to be well.<object width="440" height="280"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_KCg_QEHtkY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_KCg_QEHtkY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="440" height="280"></embed></object>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-63337901286620995022010-10-21T01:05:00.000-04:002010-10-21T01:05:11.230-04:00This is the long version... (Part 1)<div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:130%;">It says I started writing this 9/28/10 at 7:59 pm... I haven't been able to finish it, but thought maybe it would be easier broken up into a few posts. I guess this is part one:</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:130%;">----------------</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">It seems to me most people have a variety of recurring dreams; throughout the entire time working in childcare this was mine: I would have the kids with me. The kids would go missing, sometimes right in front of me... just disappear. I would go around everywhere asking if people had seen my kids. I would tell them that something bad had happened to them, that I thought someone took them. Reactions ranged from those people ignoring my like I was invisible to laughing at me. Eventually, I would find the kids- lifeless, in pieces, stitched into walls... I'd find them in a myriad of ways, but never alive. I would be really upset, because I knew it was going to end like that and no one had believed me or tried to help.</span><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">------------------</span><br /></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;">When I started feeling not so good was maybe five years back... Well, it was longer than that, but when things started to get on-again-off-again bad was about five years. First I started having really bad heart palpitations- they would knock the wind out of me. I saw a cardiologist. I had tonnes of tests- everything was fine. About a year later I returned to my GP. I would go through bouts of gasping for breath; I was tired all the time and thirsty, really thirsty. Went out for bloodwork; came back for answers- everything was fine, though slightly anemic. I was on iron pills for three months. The anemia went away, but my symptoms didn't. I was told it was likely a virus that would pass and was told to continue taking a multivitamin. Then, suddenly, everything I was complaining about went away.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">That was fall. The following spring when my seasonal allergies started up: I. could. not. breath. I was given Ventolin and put on Advair. When that didn't help, they added more inhaled corticosteroid to the mix. I went from having blood sugars within range (with a good dose of regular bad lows) to having blood sugars around 20 mmol/l (about 360 mg/dl) all the effing time. I felt disgusting while I got my numbers under control... and then once allergy season ended, I'd stop the inhalers and deal with the opposite: major persistent lows.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">This was just the beginning though. Every year since then my ability to breath, especially during allergy season degraded. Every time I got a cold (which went from about never to about three or four times a year) I would end up bacterial respiratory infections. I became familiar with the various ER's in the city. I've had x-rays and bloodwork at all of them. My inhaler medication just went up and up until it couldn't go up anymore. Sometimes it would get so bad I felt like I was drowning in my own phlegm. Again, I went for tests and breathed into all sorts of tubes- everything seemed fine. All they could figure was that it was some sort of allergy induced asthma.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">And then this time last year, shit really fell apart. First, my skin started peeling. Especially from my scalp. I was parched all the time. Then my hair was falling out in bunches. My skin was bruising over the smallest bump and whenever I tested my blood I had times where I couldn't get them to stop bleeding. And, then, by this time last year I got tired... really tired... Like pre-insulin tired. I had times where I could muster up enough strength to get out of bed once a day. I would get up, practically crawl to the bathroom, clean up, grab a glass of water, go pee and make my way back to bed. The worst of it I remember lying in bed one night, my pulse had slowed right down and I had to actually make conscious effort to breath and in my head I was thinking 'If I fall asleep, I don't know that I'm going to wake up from this.' I fell asleep thinking of a list of what to do and who to contact in case I didn't wake up. I never wrote it down.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I can't remember now if it was before this or after that I went to my family doctor. I remember listing all the things that were happening and saying "I feel like I'm getting diabetes all over again." The colour drained from her face and she checked off almost all the tests on the bloodwork requisition sheet. This was the second round of bloodwork. She started prepping me for all the things that could be wrong. I remember none but the first- organ failure.</span><br /></div><br /></div></div>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4447616466609407724.post-66366426117600585672010-10-19T23:14:00.005-04:002010-10-19T23:37:10.842-04:00This would be the abbreviated version...<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I feel like I've been away for a while. I keep writing about stuff that's going on, but not posting them. It's been a shitty couple weeks... well, it's been a really shitty year. Today was not good. Crappy memories of crappy things and tomorrow is the graduation I would have gone to had I not gotten really sick this year. I was going to go, I guess for my friends, but now I really don't feel like it. I feel like a bit of selfish jerk, but I know it will go in one of two ways: I end up crying and feeling badly or I end up pretending it's all good and go cry on my own. I know in the long run it's not that big of a deal that I'm graduating later...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Really, it's not even about the graduating part. I'm just sick of being sick and not having people around that get what it's like. I've been better the last month or so after changing my diet a bit. I still don't feel very well whenever I eat. I think everyone that knew I was sick is just really happy I can get out of bed and do stuff again. I think they think it's over. Just a diet change and its done. All better... But, I still don't have a diagnosis of anything yet and I keep worrying that not eating gluten and dairy just helped, but are not the real culprits. Maybe that's a silly thing to think, but I've had so many tests where they were sure they knew what it was, only for stuff to come back negative... or other times where they were sure everything was fine, only to get frantic calls I needed other tests done ASAP, only to find out those scarry tests were actually false alarms. I don't think about a lot, but it's more of an underlying worry that they'll finally figure out what's going on and realize it's something aweful and something they could have fixed had they figured it out when I first started complaining about stuff.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I think that, all of that, is why I don't want to go my would-be grad... It is just a very strange feeling to watch people move on, while you lie stuck in a rather painful limbo.</span></span>Virtuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00537029766728534734noreply@blogger.com0